What if it had been you?

I read this article first thing this morning and it just about did me in.
http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2013/oct/15/orphan-goes-church-and-asks-someone-anyone-adopt-h/

I'm not saying everyone is supposed to adopt.  Believe me I have my share of experience in the area, and I know God has provided for us thus far.  
BUT!!!!!
Do you think we weren't TERRIFIED to write that first check?  At the end of the day it wasn't cheap!  To fill out sooooo much paperwork and ask yourself questions about what kind of kid you are willing to take.  
Do you think we weren't like, oh yay, another training...another class...another book to read...yes please come inspect my house again...take my fingerprints for the gazillionth time woohoo
What I'm getting at here is that risk is always involved. Not just risk, but a mental, emotional, and sometimes physical workout.   
Aside from your pocket book, one of the risks involved is your comfort and your heart.
Anyone involved in foster care or adoption has walked quite a journey, I can assure you of that.  

I remember when we first met a few teenage girls that needed help.  I was playing the drums for worship at this youth group for troubled teens.  We started giving a couple of them rides to church.  We realized they are normal kids that had been really hurt by adults that made bad choices, and in turn made bad choices.  
Imagine that

My husband says to me one night, "They need help, and we are able to help".  Notice he didn't say he had some overwhelming urge or passion here.  Maybe more like a subtle tap on the heart, that I'm thankful to say he responded to...

Excuses aside, many of us are able.  Then comes the question

ARE WE WILLING?  
Are you willing?

What comes to mind.  What reasons/excuses can you come up with as to why you 'can't'.

I'll tell you some we talked through.  We have 2 young boys. (At that time.)  Will it be safe?
What about the process...sitting through training, getting licensed for foster care etc.  What about our home life?  Does that mean someone will always be there?  What if?  What if?  We could have easily listed 10 reasons why it was a bad idea and why we shouldn't do it.

Well, Josh told me that night he was going to pick up the phone the next day to call and see what action steps we could take to help out, purely out of obedience to the word of God that says take care of orphans.  He said if he didn't do it the next morning, we never would.  

He made that phone call the next morning.  It set us on course for all kinds of 'sacrifces'.  In the end I'm here to tell you we survived it.  And I'm here to tell you we are so glad we did it.  It opened our eyes to so many evils in this world. 

 It opened our eyes to all these somehow 

unseen kids 

that are DESPERATE for help.  

So today is meant to make you uncomfortable as you read this.  It is meant to have you ask yourself if you are willing or able.  

I'm not saying everyone should be doing foster care and adopting.  I am saying there is a role we all play in this thing called life.  We can either turn a blind eye, or we can take some sort of action and help in some way.

For me personally, I always think, any one of those kids could have been me.  Or you?  So maybe you were one of the lucky ones with parents that kept it together and raised you.  But what if you weren't?  Wouldn't you have wanted someone to step in for you?

Little Miss

A little girl for one week!

What a delight!  Braids, coloring, choosing outfits...too much fun!  

I smile inside to think what a fun time that was for me....and how much I look forward to having a little girl of our own soon!!!  

Sweet Little Miss is what we will call this one...it truly describes her well.

The pain my heart feels when I think of these little ones.  Ripped from their homes.  No fault of their own.  Eyes wide open to adult issues, but looking through the eyes of a babe.  Oh they are so precious.  They state such horrendous things so matter of factly.  Unfortunately it IS normal for them.  It is their reality.  

Ripped from home twice now.

Lucky for this one, at least the same foster home was available to her both times.  For many this is not the case.

Then begins all the appointments, social workers, counselor's, all the people trying to help repair broken, hurt families and people.

I took her twice to have supervised visits with her mom.  It felt so strange to pick her up and take her away from her mom.  All I could think to do was to promise her mom how well I would care for her daughter.  I did my best to treat her like a princess for a week.  I told her how much God loved her and no one could ever take that or change that.  We prayed, told stories, did braids, curls, went shopping, she helped me cook:)  We went for bike rides, kept a diary every day of her stay...

Every last one we have had the chance to care for stays in a special place in our hearts.  I will always wonder about them and always pray for them.  I think Little Miss was our last one for now.  Our adoption is coming up and we will be focusing on our new daughter!!  I can't wait!

Foster care is a HUGE need in our society.  There are many ways to be involved.  If you feel so nudged just know God always provides.  Somehow every detail always worked out, and I know that that 'somehow' was God keeping His promise to help us.

Six and Sad

This is the youngest foster child we have taken care of.  He was six.  Maybe that's why he showed more emotion?  I don't know.  Or was it that he had only been pulled from 'home' 30 days ago, and for the first time?  I don't know.

Have you heard a child grieving from the pit of their little being?  Especially when you know they have been through severe trauma...ugh.  Talk about a tear jerker.  

This little dude was smack dab in the middle of his grieving process of being yanked from home.  Such a sweet little guy.  He has only been in foster care a really short time, so it's all new to him.  It was really hard for him to leave his foster mom to come with us.  Then after being with us for 4 nights it was really hard for him to leave us.  He kept saying he wouldn't see us again.  I assured him he was invited back anytime.

It was hard because you want to show these kids so much love, but sometimes they won't or can't accept it.  For this one there was no hugging or such touching allowed.  Only his mommy was allowed to do that.  He reminded us constantly.  By the end he was basically sitting on my lap and I could get away with a pat on the back, or something like that, until he realized he let a mommy love on him, then he would verbalize it.  No no.  No one but my mommy can do that.

At one point during the stay he had gone in Hudson's room and was in a puddle of tears stretched out on the middle of the floor.  I stayed with him and got him talking.  And he just cried, when will I see my mommy and daddy again?  Why can't I see them?  I want to!  It's too hard.  I don't know...Will I ever see them? I want my mommy and daddy.  All with short breaths and tears streaming and in total devastation.  My tears fell with his.  I did not have a truthful answer to give him other than I don't know.  But in the end after grieving for a bit I suggested we pray over them and the whole thing.  So we did.  Then wiped our eyes and back to playing we went.  

It's like the floodgates are lurking just below the surface.  Any little trigger can trip an extreme emotion whether it is anger or tears or hitting or what have you.  Can you blame them?  Matter of fact one night when I tucked him in, (before I knew the mommy rule...Meaning no one can hug him except mommy), and I got socked right in the head!!!  No joke!  :)  Honestly it was comical.  I tucked him in.  Made sure he knew he was special and loved.  Prayed with him and I leaned over to give him a little quick kiss on the top of his head as I was leaving, and I got socked!:)  I learned fast, NO ONE BUT MOMMY DOES THAT.  Oh, I'm so sorry little guy!!!  I accept that rule and we will find other ways:)  My my.  If you could have seen how little he is for being six.  And how poor his speech was and how stinking cute he was.  Believe me, you wouldn't have minded getting socked either.

I'm just thankful that for right now we get to do this as a family.  We are all learning from it and seeing another side of life.  We all have to pitch in and help.  I count it our blessing even though some might say we are blessing the kids, I say they are blessing us.

Little man little man

We just had the pleasure of hosting a seven year old foster boy for one week.  

wow

Some things you just can't get over.  Like there are SO MANY KIDS just like him.  He doesn't know where he will live tomorrow, never the less in a week or year.  He has been moved several times.  All different environments.  

What he does know:  He will never see his mom again because she died.  His dad won't get off drugs long enough to prove himself to the state so he can have his son back.  

Let's see

If I was seven.

Drugs are better than I am...  No one wants me.  I'm not worth it.  

How would you act?  If that's what you thought as truth in your brain.  How would you act?

Well this sweet little boy was still ABLE to RECEIVE love!!!  YAY!  Made our job easier.  So many of them won't receive it because they don't believe they are worth it or deserve it.  Well tragedy hadn't quite won over this one YET.

I knew I only had one week.  So I decided to focus on one or two basic things that I could drill into his head, and hopefully heart, in seven days.

So this is what happened.  Every day I would say, "Does Jesus love you when you are naughty?", and at first he always said no.  And I would say, "Yes, yes, he ALWAYS loves you."  And then I would ask if Jesus loved him when he was good.  And he would say yes.  Then I would ask him if Jesus loved him just as much when he was naughty as when he was good.  He always said no at first to that one too, but I would quickly tell him that Jesus loves him ALL THE TIME!  End of story.  Praying he would realize no that no matter where he lives, or what is happening, he can know that no matter what someone ALWAYS loves him.  He asked me if I told his foster mom that:)  lol  so cute.  He wanted her to know that even when he was naughty he was still lovable!  

He is one of SOOOO so so many like him.  Many more damaged by irresponsible adults in their lives.  What he doesn't realize is that WE were the lucky ones.  We got to be a part of his life for one week.  

A sweet friend of mine gave a speech about a year ago.  She based it on Isaiah 58.  But what stuck was that she said God isn't asking you to give what you don't yet have.  He's asking you to give what you already have.  Even if it's a penny, or 30 minutes, and then he takes care of the rest.  Or if you worry you don't have the extra grocery money to feed an extra mouth, isn't that God's responsibility to provide if you are following him?  Or to provide the extra time?  Gas money?

See, if we wait until we HAVE, it simply NEVER ever happens.  There is never the perfect time, amount of money, because for most of us the list never ends.