Six and Sad

This is the youngest foster child we have taken care of.  He was six.  Maybe that's why he showed more emotion?  I don't know.  Or was it that he had only been pulled from 'home' 30 days ago, and for the first time?  I don't know.

Have you heard a child grieving from the pit of their little being?  Especially when you know they have been through severe trauma...ugh.  Talk about a tear jerker.  

This little dude was smack dab in the middle of his grieving process of being yanked from home.  Such a sweet little guy.  He has only been in foster care a really short time, so it's all new to him.  It was really hard for him to leave his foster mom to come with us.  Then after being with us for 4 nights it was really hard for him to leave us.  He kept saying he wouldn't see us again.  I assured him he was invited back anytime.

It was hard because you want to show these kids so much love, but sometimes they won't or can't accept it.  For this one there was no hugging or such touching allowed.  Only his mommy was allowed to do that.  He reminded us constantly.  By the end he was basically sitting on my lap and I could get away with a pat on the back, or something like that, until he realized he let a mommy love on him, then he would verbalize it.  No no.  No one but my mommy can do that.

At one point during the stay he had gone in Hudson's room and was in a puddle of tears stretched out on the middle of the floor.  I stayed with him and got him talking.  And he just cried, when will I see my mommy and daddy again?  Why can't I see them?  I want to!  It's too hard.  I don't know...Will I ever see them? I want my mommy and daddy.  All with short breaths and tears streaming and in total devastation.  My tears fell with his.  I did not have a truthful answer to give him other than I don't know.  But in the end after grieving for a bit I suggested we pray over them and the whole thing.  So we did.  Then wiped our eyes and back to playing we went.  

It's like the floodgates are lurking just below the surface.  Any little trigger can trip an extreme emotion whether it is anger or tears or hitting or what have you.  Can you blame them?  Matter of fact one night when I tucked him in, (before I knew the mommy rule...Meaning no one can hug him except mommy), and I got socked right in the head!!!  No joke!  :)  Honestly it was comical.  I tucked him in.  Made sure he knew he was special and loved.  Prayed with him and I leaned over to give him a little quick kiss on the top of his head as I was leaving, and I got socked!:)  I learned fast, NO ONE BUT MOMMY DOES THAT.  Oh, I'm so sorry little guy!!!  I accept that rule and we will find other ways:)  My my.  If you could have seen how little he is for being six.  And how poor his speech was and how stinking cute he was.  Believe me, you wouldn't have minded getting socked either.

I'm just thankful that for right now we get to do this as a family.  We are all learning from it and seeing another side of life.  We all have to pitch in and help.  I count it our blessing even though some might say we are blessing the kids, I say they are blessing us.

Little man little man

We just had the pleasure of hosting a seven year old foster boy for one week.  

wow

Some things you just can't get over.  Like there are SO MANY KIDS just like him.  He doesn't know where he will live tomorrow, never the less in a week or year.  He has been moved several times.  All different environments.  

What he does know:  He will never see his mom again because she died.  His dad won't get off drugs long enough to prove himself to the state so he can have his son back.  

Let's see

If I was seven.

Drugs are better than I am...  No one wants me.  I'm not worth it.  

How would you act?  If that's what you thought as truth in your brain.  How would you act?

Well this sweet little boy was still ABLE to RECEIVE love!!!  YAY!  Made our job easier.  So many of them won't receive it because they don't believe they are worth it or deserve it.  Well tragedy hadn't quite won over this one YET.

I knew I only had one week.  So I decided to focus on one or two basic things that I could drill into his head, and hopefully heart, in seven days.

So this is what happened.  Every day I would say, "Does Jesus love you when you are naughty?", and at first he always said no.  And I would say, "Yes, yes, he ALWAYS loves you."  And then I would ask if Jesus loved him when he was good.  And he would say yes.  Then I would ask him if Jesus loved him just as much when he was naughty as when he was good.  He always said no at first to that one too, but I would quickly tell him that Jesus loves him ALL THE TIME!  End of story.  Praying he would realize no that no matter where he lives, or what is happening, he can know that no matter what someone ALWAYS loves him.  He asked me if I told his foster mom that:)  lol  so cute.  He wanted her to know that even when he was naughty he was still lovable!  

He is one of SOOOO so so many like him.  Many more damaged by irresponsible adults in their lives.  What he doesn't realize is that WE were the lucky ones.  We got to be a part of his life for one week.  

A sweet friend of mine gave a speech about a year ago.  She based it on Isaiah 58.  But what stuck was that she said God isn't asking you to give what you don't yet have.  He's asking you to give what you already have.  Even if it's a penny, or 30 minutes, and then he takes care of the rest.  Or if you worry you don't have the extra grocery money to feed an extra mouth, isn't that God's responsibility to provide if you are following him?  Or to provide the extra time?  Gas money?

See, if we wait until we HAVE, it simply NEVER ever happens.  There is never the perfect time, amount of money, because for most of us the list never ends.